


Refuse Me

by Autonomee



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alpha Kylo Ren, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Alternate Universe - Boarding School, Alternate Universe - High School, F/M, Omega Rey (Star Wars), Possessive Kylo Ren
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-30
Updated: 2019-09-04
Packaged: 2020-02-10 11:51:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18659872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Autonomee/pseuds/Autonomee
Summary: It’s the most contact she’s received in years, since her Grandpa was still alive.This Alpha’s touch is electric, completely unfamiliar but just what she needs. Her eyes automatically find his, they are molten brown, and everything in her wants to examine those eyes forever and-What am I doing?some sensible part of her screams at herself.Whatever he bids,another part answers.Rey’s plan to live her life to the fullest as an Alpha falls apart when a classmate discovers her secret.





	1. Contact

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AKnightOfWren](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AKnightOfWren/gifts).



Bored faces and awkward silence, interrupted by the sound of sliding papers and sighs. 

When Mr. Ackbar sets her test face down on her desk, Rey tries to move it right into her bag without revealing the score. She already knows she got a perfect one hundred and is praying nobody will find out. 

“Rey,” is all he says. He smiles warmly at her, and she returns it in earnest. He’s always been kind to her, not singling her out.

She slips the paper off her desk and puts it away, making sure that she was able to keep it face down. 

From behind her, someone whispers her name quickly, as if they were checking whether or not she was awake. 

When she turns, Poe Dameron’s large brown eyes are beaming at her. _Daaaamn,_ he mouths silently, nodding towards her bag. 

Rey sends a furious glare at the Alpha. Trust Poe to have hawk eyes that he uses to invade people’s privacy. 

_“Shhh!”_ she hisses softly, and he does. He lifts up his own paper with a sly smile. Eighty four. 

Rey nods, not sure how else to respond, though she can’t help the smile that quirks up on her face. The wiggle of his eyebrows certainly doesn’t help.

“Come to me if you have any questions about the exam. That’s all for today,” announces Mr. Ackbar. Another thing Rey likes about Mr. Ackbar is that everyone listens to him, a rarity for a Beta teaching at a school attended solely by Alphas. He’s been here for so long that he demands respect, and it’s a sign of hope for someone like Rey.

Rey grabs her bag and darts out of the room, hoping Poe doesn’t follow but unsurprised when he does. He’s always following her around. It used to bother her a lot more, but now that she’s sort of used to it, she can’t help but enjoy having him around. 

“How the hell do you do that?” he asks cheerily. He’s accompanied by Finn Tuwan, another somewhat follower and somewhat friend. At least they help Rey appear normal. “One hundred. That’s insane, you must be a super genius,” he continues, clearly pleased with himself.

“He just doesn’t like it when people perform better than him,” Finn explains with an eye roll. Rey had warmed up to Finn much sooner than she had with Poe because of his calmer demeanor. He’s unlike the other Alphas at this school. 

“Says the recently presented Finn Tuwan. You are just jealous that I presented earlier than you and want to make me look bad in front of our dear Rey,” Poe retorts sweetly. He hooks his arm around Rey’s neck and leads her to the dining hall, Finn following close behind.

It’s true that Finn has only been at the Academy for a few months, compared to Poe’s year and a half, but he tends to carry himself better. Sometimes being an Alpha is about blending in.

Rey shrugs. “Seems to me like Finn is well adjusted here.”

A flash of something...hurt maybe, crosses Poe’s face so quickly that any normal eye would not have seen it. Rey feigns ignorance, sure that Finn didn’t notice at all. After all this time, she’s just _used_ to noticing these things. It keeps her safe.

In this case, she isn’t sure what it means but doesn’t feel threatened by it. Poe would never do anything to harm her. “You would know, you were here before both of us.” It sounds somewhat playful, but mostly like an accusation.

It’s true, she arrived quite some time before Poe and Finn. 

“That’s right, so if you two annoy me anymore, I know exactly who to go to to have you taken out,” she deadpans. 

They both stop in their tracks.

“...I was joking?” 

They look at each other seriously before they both break out laughing.

Dinner goes by all too slowly. Rey is quiet, focusing on chewing her bites of apple slowly. She hasn’t had much of an appetite lately, and she must admit she feels shaky and weak.

There’s nothing that worries her more than appearing weak, so she concentrates on eating and listening to whatever nonsense Poe and Finn discuss today.

“They should really let us off campus more often,” Poe groans. “Supervised visits to town.” He shakes his head. “It’s like they don’t trust us.”

Finn chuckles, and for some reason, Rey knows exactly what he is thinking, sending her into a fit of laughter.

“What?” Poe looks between them quickly and it only makes them laugh harder.

“As if,” Finn laughs some more, “they would let an Alpha like you,” he chuckles even more, “loose in town.” 

Poe breaks out grinning, the infectious laughter getting to him. “You’re not wrong about that,” he admits. “And you know what I mean. At least we will have the freedom to leave whenever if we pass our second year exams,” he sings. “Plus there’s off campus housing.”

“That’s a long way away for me, but it doesn’t matter. I could never afford to live off campus anyway,” Finn reminds him.

Rey understands that all too well. All three of them are orphans and also on scholarship, but an athletic scholarship pays a lot more than academic ones so Poe can afford the luxury of escaping campus.

“Nah, you would come live with me,” Poe claps Finn on his back, “and then you could pocket the scholarship money.”

Finn gives one of those heartwarming grins where he shows his teeth. It’s rare, but it’s always a sight to see. “Like I said, it’ll be a while.”

“How come you never go off campus, Rey? If I had access, I’d be going all the time.” He wiggles his eyebrows and laughs at his own joke. Finn just shakes his head.

_Because I’d be putting myself at risk,_ she thinks.

She shrugs. “Everything I need is on campus. Speaking of which, I left my laundry in the dryer and need to go pick it up before someone steals anything.” It’s not entirely a lie, technically she did lose a sock there...

“I can’t tell you how many graphic tees I’ve had stolen.” Poe looks indecisively down at his tray which is still mostly full. “You better go get it.”

“Right. See you guys tomorrow.”

They wave her off and she throws out the apple core before exiting the dining hall.

She is hurrying down the hallway (for all she knows, Poe may have thrown out his food anyway and is hot on her heels), heading in the opposite direction of the communal laundromat, when a door swings open, slamming against her, and throwing her to the floor.

The impact sends a shock through her body. Rey shakes her head to regain her thoughts, blinking heavily. As her vision come into focus, she sees a long pale face with striking and dark features, plump pink lips bringing the only color to a peculiar face.

He offers his hand with a smirk. “Sorry about that.” He pulls her to her feet with ease.

“Mmm,” she mumbles, stumbling slightly. 

He catches her, his hands firmly grasping her arms and holding her upright. _They’re huge,_ she thinks, sinking into the touch, unable to help herself. He chuckles and the action causes his chest to rumble and Rey to rumble with it.

It’s the most contact she’s received in years, since her Grandpa was still alive. 

This Alpha’s touch is electric, completely unfamiliar but just what she needs. Her eyes automatically find his, they are molten brown, and everything in her wants to examine those eyes forever and-

_What am I doing?_ Some sensible part of her screams at herself. _Whatever he bids,_ another part answers. 

She’s frozen, the weight of his stare locking her into place. He looks like he’s staring at a puzzle, something he can’t quite figure out, and she wants to comfort him, to explain.

That is until Rey notices his expression twisting. A deliberate inhale. 

_He is smelling me!_

She shoves against him, breaking free. She doesn’t dare watch for his reaction and bolts away. If she doesn’t escape now, she knows she will never leave him.

As soon as she reaches her room she slams and locks the door, sinking down against it until she is curled up into a ball. 

_What was that?_

The comfort she felt, his hands on her body, the need to please, it was all so foreign, yet it all felt so right.

Grandpa said this time would come eventually, but he said it would be more gradual than this, not something that hits her full force. Regardless, Rey decides it’s time to up her dosage.

With shaky knees, she rises from the floor and stumbles towards her wardrobe. In the back is a chest with a latch which Rey, and only Rey, knows the code to. 

She can’t help but tremble, remembering the way the Alpha had looked at her after he inhaled her scent. Rey couldn’t help how pleased she felt in the moment, knowing he wanted to breathe her in.

The fear of being discovered fills her mind, yet is somehow overpowered by…attraction? The thought of his hands on her body, his breath on her neck. She shudders and tries to focus on what she’s doing. 

She removes a syringe from her kit and a vial containing a golden tincture. Taking a deep breath to steady her hands, she carefully inserts the needle into her arm and pushes the plunger. 

She relaxes into the sensation of the suppressant coursing through her veins. Sighing, she wishes to feel relieved, but doesn’t. Someone almost discovered her. And worse, it was her own fault. If she had been more careful travelling down the hall or had gauged her dosages better, then this all could have been avoided.

Rey pictures the Alpha and exhales softly as the thoughts of his embrace regain control of her mind. She lets herself fantasize about being near him again, her entire body being pressed against his, breathing in his warmth, completely enveloped in the safety of his arms. 

The tightness in her chest makes it hard to think about anything else, but when she opens her eyes and sees that all of her suppressants have just been lying around for the last few minutes, she’s able to snap herself out of it. 

_What am I doing?_

She packs everything back away into the safe in somewhat of an unnecessary frenzy, both fighting and embracing the images flying through her mind. 

It’s not like the other students don’t take suppressants, but hers are unequivocally different- unlabeled, home-made, and definitely considered _contraband._ Grandpa’s secret recipe.

When it’s all put away, Rey scans the room a few more times just to be sure she’s covered her tracks. 

She’s relieved to be alone in her room, where nobody would ever come to visit her (Poe and Finn can’t come into the girls’ dormitory), but she knows it won’t last, as much as she wishes she could tuck herself into the safe, locked away forever.

Instead, she grabs all the extra school provided blankets, sheets, pillows, and comforters from her closet, and throws them to the ground. She then flings her regular bedding onto the ground before propping her mattress up against her bed frame to cover the mess of a nest she’s made.

She slinks into the makeshift bed with another long sigh and wraps herself in a blanket, wearing it like a hood. The fantasies don’t stop and neither does the confusion, until finally she falls asleep.


	2. Skin on Skin

Rey lays low for a few weeks, giving the suppressants time to take their effect and desperately trying to avoid suspicion. In addition to the higher dosage, she’s been adding tincture to her soaps and hair products to make them stronger blockers. With each Alpha she encounters that doesn’t stop to sniff her, she feels safer and safer.

And no matter how much she looks out for him, the strange Alpha who had shaken her to the core was all but a dream now, one to remind her of what she was and to be careful.

Maybe that day was just a fluke, maybe because she was feeling ill or because she had unknowingly missed a dosage. 

More time passes, more explanations for what happened.

Finn and Poe don’t seem to notice anything different about her. Well, aside from the fact that she has been avoiding them.

“Rey.” She snaps out of whatever day dream has taken her away this time. “You owe us this, come on.”

She had unconsciously been rolling her orange around in her hands, but stops abruptly. It’s as if she is only now aware of the loud chatter surrounding the dining hall, and it only makes her more confused. “Sorry, what?” 

Poe rolls his eyes exasperatedly. “I _said_ , Kylo Ren is hosting a party tonight. Everyone, and I mean _everyone_ , is invited, and because he’s Kylo Ren, everyone gets special permission to go. It’s all I’ve been talking about for weeks.”

“Kylo Ren?” 

“What is with you lately? Yes, Kylo Ren! He’s pretty famous around here, y’know? Kylo Ren, school legend, got here at fourteen, been here three years, biggest Alpha on campus… really? Nothing?”

“It’s fine if she doesn’t know,” Finn interjects. “I only just found out about him myself.”

“Yeah, but you’re new. Rey’s been here forever. She won’t say how long,” Poe grits out, “but I know it’s long enough to have heard of Kylo.”

Rey just blinks at him. Not for the first time, Finn speaks up for her… sort of.

“I mean… it’s Rey,” he says as if it’s enough of an explanation. Poe opens his mouth to say something but nothing comes out. Even he seems to recognize Rey as an accomplished hermit. 

“The point is, Rey, we really need you to go to this party,” he pleads. 

“Why?”

“Hot girls attract hot girls. There is no better wingman. Wingwoman,” he corrects himself with a smile. 

Rey could not be more lost. “...So you want me to try and get one of my hallmates to come with us? You guys know I don’t know any of them!”

Poe smacks Finn on the shoulder and indicates that he should reason with her.

Finn huffs at him, but when he turns to face Rey, his expression softens, some vulnerability shining through. “Honestly, it would be fun to see what one of these parties are like. I’ve been stuck on campus for too long.”

Rey doesn’t know what to say. She does feel bad about ignoring them these last few weeks, _but still._ This is way out of her league and is a recipe for disaster. “I-”

“Just an hour,” Poe rushes out. “Wear a tanktop and some jeans, and we are golden. And for goodness sake, Rey, let your hair down.”

She almost protests again when Finn says, “Please, Rey?”

They’ve got her. There is no way she can tell Finn no when he has been such a decent person to her. Poe, too, but she puts up with a lot for him already. Stalking, mostly. Finn, on the other hand, doesn’t ask her for anything.

“Fine.” 

Poe whoops and smacks Finn on the shoulder, and even Finn breaks out a smile. Rey can’t deny how much it warms her heart to see that.

Besides, what’s one party anyway? She can make an appearance for Poe and Finn’s sake and then ditch. Problem solved, and then there is no way they can ask her for a favor again. Everyone’s happy. 

______________

_Everyone is not happy._

Rey can’t help her racing heart as she walks up to the house in front of them. It’s larger than she imagined, and absolutely crawling with guests, red cups in hand and chattering loudly.

If Poe and Finn weren’t by her side, practically towing her, she would have run away long ago. Probably told the Lyft driver to turn around and leave, take her right back to the school. 

“A wife beater and Doc Martins, Rey? Really? How are we going to attract the babes when you’re dressed like this?”

She’s honestly thankful for this distraction. “In my defense, you didn’t say anything about shoes and this _is_ technically a tank top.”

“Too late to do anything now.” Poe straightens his jacket and runs his hand through his hair. Rey makes her way towards the entrance when he says, “Wait!” He messes with her hair some, the buns she usually wears having put a little wave into her straight hair. “Perfect. Alright, let’s do this!” 

Rey didn’t know what to expect from her first party, but it certainly wasn’t _this._ In the main room there’s a pool table, a giant projector playing random music videos, and two tables of beer pong going. It’s so packed that it feels impossible not to be touching someone.

Within minutes of going inside, she’s lost track of Poe and Finn. 

_Of_ course. 

_Why am I here again?_ She laments. She’s standing awkwardly between the kitchen and a hallway, empty-handed, scanning the crowds of people. Rey tries to keep a strong, focused expression, but she knows it’s obvious that she’s lost and confused. 

She starts to feel overheated, _fast,_ and it’s not like she can remove any more layers of clothing.

Overwhelmed by the situation, she makes her way to the nearest exit through painstaking physical contact and inaudible ‘um’s, ‘ah’s, and ‘excuse me’s until she finally emerges outside, and takes in a much needed deep breath. 

Still. People. Everywhere. 

Rey lingers on the edge and looks around, unsure of what to do. Finn and Poe are probably inside but there is no way she is going back in there. And then, she spots someone she sort of recognizes. A guy from one of her classes, seemingly nice and was once a decent group project member. Before she can decide whether or not to approach, she is met with his excited eye contact and a gesture to come over. 

Rey takes a deep breath and walks over to him and the few people he’s standing with. “Hey,” she manages to smile. What’s this guy’s name again? 

“What’s up, Rey? You’re here alone?” He takes a drag from his cigarette.

“Finn and Poe dragged me here, and then I lost them immediately.”

The boy laughs at that and she’s able to join him, relaxing a little. “Yeah, that’ll happen at a party like this. Well, you’re welcome to hang out with us in the meantime.” 

There’s only about three other people and they all greet her with “Hey” and “Sup” at the same time. 

“Nice to meet you,” Rey says and looks around uncomfortably. She’s the only person not holding a drink, and as if it wasn’t obvious enough already, her empty hands fumbling around nervously doesn’t help. She decides to just wrap her arms around her chest.

She is just standing there for a few minutes, nodding every once in a while but failing to pick up on what they’re talking about, when someone walks up and puts his arm around her neck. 

Poe, obviously. She shouldn’t be surprised but she finds this whole environment strange and is taken aback at the sudden contact. Still, it’s a relief that Poe had found her.

“Why’d you run off?” he asks casually. 

“ _You_ guys ran off. Five seconds through the door and you just vanished without me.”

“Yeah, sorry about that. We turned around and thought _you_ had left _us,_ ” he replies, clearly enjoying himself plenty, drink in hand. “Hux! How are you man?” He reaches out his arm for some sort of half hug, shoulder bump. 

_Hux._ Rey repeats in her head. _That’s right!_

Who knew Poe could come through with a save like this. First the name, and now, if only she could find some way out of this situation, Poe in hand, then she would be in the clear. Surely he was here to retrieve her anyway.

“Alright, well, I just wanted to make sure you were okay! Text me if you need anything,” he shouts over his shoulder, almost back to the entrance of the party.

 _Nevermind, I can’t count on Poe for shit,_ Rey thinks begrudgingly. 

“Hey, if you want we can go somewhere a little more private.”

Even Rey knows that sentence isn’t what you want to hear at a party. She doesn’t know what to say exactly but is working up to something when he laughs.

“I meant right over there.” He points to the corner of the patio where an electric heater is plugged in beside two poolside chairs. They’re occupied by a few more Alphas but Hux doesn’t seem to mind as he crosses over without another word.

Rey is stuck in place for a moment but decides following is less conspicuous than leaving. She keeps her distance from Hux, because even though he seems innocent enough, she’s deciding not to trust anyone anymore since she couldn’t even trust Poe or Finn to stay with her. As soon as she can free herself of Hux, she is out of here.

“Leave,” is all he says, before the Alpha occupants of the chairs get up abruptly and relocate. 

If it was meant to impress Rey, it has the opposite effect. Her stomach turns over, and she can’t help but feel that she might be revealed at any moment.

It’s only because of the unusual Alpha from before, one she could tell was powerful and head of the pack. Hux isn’t as big but he is nearly as tall and isn’t exactly wiry, but still, Rey didn’t expect for him to have that much command here… maybe there were Betas here after all and the scent of Alpha was overpowering anything else. If so, that was a relief.

It was nice to curl up near the heater. Ever since Rey had gotten to the house, she had been going through strange cycles of being hot then cold, but while they were inside it had been milder.

“You looked kind of uncomfortable and I figured you were cold in that top.” 

“Yes, a bit.” She straightens up some, realizing that curling up is not very Alpha-like. “It’s just the changing seasons.” She averts her eyes, looking far off in the distance, and it takes everything in Rey not to let a shiver rack through her, the inclination growing stronger and stronger.

Hux’s gaze follows her’s and he smiles out at the horizon, lights flickering with hills and forest far off in the distance. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”

Rey smiles freely but the action makes her teeth chatter audibly, and without knowing it, she is hunched over holding her jaw in place. And now there is _no way_ she is sitting up straight again because she is _freezing._

It doesn’t make sense, not even to her. It’s not that deep into winter and even if it was, Rey grew up in the desert where the nights could get as cold as anywhere around here, minus the precipitation. No matter what she wore, she was resilient to just about anything.

A shiver tears through her body, despite her efforts, and she prepares to explain about having a minor cold and the top working against her when a large, fluffy jacket is draped across her shoulders. It smells _divine_ and she can’t help but curl up into it.

“Hux,” a deep voice says from behind Rey. She’s too cold to sit up and check who is talking, but everything in her wishes for Hux to get the fuck up and leave her alone with the owner of this voice, of this intoxicating jacket. “I’ll take it from here.”

Rey can hear Hux’s weight shift on the seat next to hers as if he was considering protesting. It takes him a few moments before he gets up and walks off but as soon as the sound of his steps have carried away, there are warm hands gripping her.

“Let’s go warm you up,” a hot breath whispers into her ear, sending a different kind of shiver down her spine.

Rey loves everything about this voice, the iron disguised in velvet, and leans into the stranger’s grasp further. 

“But the heater,” she whines. And Rey _never_ whines, not even as a child, but this was inevitable. A chuckle answers, and she realizes this chuckle doesn’t belong to just anyone. This one is familiar; one she has dreamt of every night for the past several weeks, one she is bound by.

It belongs to a demon. A deity that tempts, one that asks you to succumb to your weakest self and here, right now, Rey is giving him what he wants. It doesn’t matter to her anymore. She is a shivering idiot for him.

Rey doesn’t contest when he pulls her to her feet and hooks one arm around her waist. Even then she is slumping into him, snuggling as best as she can to gather as much body heat as possible. 

She heard the devil burns and she intends to take some of that heat with her.

He begins to lead her away from the electronic heater, and Rey considers protesting again.

“Pull it together, you don’t want to give up your little act.” She doesn’t dare look at him now, but she’s sure it’s the Alpha from a few weeks ago. 

Suddenly the demon is the voice of reason and Rey stands up straight, forgetting every protesting part of her body and obeying. He’s right; there’s nothing strong about bending over to the cold.

Rey keeps her eyes trained ahead. It becomes easier then to be led up a flight of stairs, down a hall, and through a door that leads into a… library? There’s a roaring fireplace, shelves upon shelves of books, and a few sofa chairs with a variety of knitted blankets. Aside from that, and the two large rugs covering the entirety of the floor, there’s not much else.

It’s _magnificent;_ any bookworm like Rey would find themselves in heaven. 

She nearly forgets that she’s alone with _him._ Nearly.

Rey turns to face him. It’s indeed the very same Alpha with the thick black hair and strong features. If anyone else looked at her with the intensity of this Alpha’s gaze, she’d already be fighting or flighting.

But to be showered with his stare feeds life into Rey, like a sunflower at dawn when the sun peeks over the horizon.

He pushes a loveseat over to the fire and sits down, patting the seat beside him. “Come.”

She’s there in seconds, something magnetic pulling her towards him.

“Good girl,” he murmurs, delicately tucking some of her hair behind her ear. And Rey _purrs._ He chuckles that damned chuckle and rips Rey out of whatever spell he’s got her under and sends her crashing back down to earth.

She pushes his arm away. “Don’t touch me. You don’t know me.”

“You’re right about that. A moment ago you’re melting into my touch and now this. There is something so off about you.” That comment hurts Rey more than it should, more than she was prepared for. “And why the hell are you at a party in your condition? Are you trying to get hurt?” Concern drips heavy in his voice and it sends her heart fluttering.

“No one else was going to notice,” she mumbles even though she meant to be fierce.

He scoffs. “You reek of something else.” Again his disapproval stabs at her heart. “The scent isn’t as intense as before but it’s still there, masked under something vile.”

“Everyone else seems to think I smell fine! I’m a perfectly normal Alpha!” She snaps like a viper but it doesn’t seem to sting.

“Oh I see, it’s my fault,” he says, sarcasm dripping in his voice and Rey can’t help but cower a little. Still, she presses on. 

“These fucked up symptoms only happen when you come around, so yeah, it’s your fault!” 

Kylo’s eyebrows shoot up. Then slowly his expression twists, reminding Rey of a mad scientist making his biggest discovery, devilish and thrilled.

“Do you know what that means, Rey?” 

She shakes her head slowly. 

“It means you're mine, _Omega._ ”

Rey lets out a shaky breath she didn’t know she was holding. She’s never been called that before. Not even her grandpa would utter it. 

It’s what she both desires and dreads to hear. 

“I… can’t,” she says, her voice coming out choked up. 

He’s by her side in a flash, wrapping his arms around her. “Shh, shh, little Omega. Everything is going to be alright,” he coos. “I’ve got you.”

And she’s powerless to his touch, his warmth, the buzz she feels coursing between them. 

She doesn’t know how long he is holding her, comforting her. Rey hasn’t been held like this since her grandfather passed, and even then, it was _nothing_ like this. 

She can feel her phone buzz before it starts ringing, yet it still startles her, suddenly reminded of where she was and who she was with. Even her identity seemed to slip away. 

Confused, she checks the caller id. 

**Poe Dameron**

She answers, turning away from Kylo as if it would offer some privacy. 

“Hello?”

“Rey, where are you, chica?”

“Err…” She peeks over at Kylo, who is smirking down at her. “I had to cool my head and stepped away for some fresh air.” It’s not entirely a lie. 

“Are you close by?” He sounds exasperated and it helps to pull Rey away from whatever spell Kylo has her under.

“Yeah, why?”

“Finn and this chick, Phasma, got into a drinking contest and neither of them would call it quits and now they are singing into a fucking lampshade like it’s karaoke, so _please get here now._ ” 

“Fine...yeah.” She shakes her head, blinking hard to clear her head. _Finn, drunk, singing into a lampshade… that’s a first._ “I’ll be right there.”

“Oh my god, they are rapping. _Hurry, Rey!_ ”

Rey snaps her phone shut, utterly confused. This night is _not_ what she expected.

“I have to go,” is all she says before standing up.

“Oh, no you don’t. You’re staying right here with me.”

“But.” Her jaw clenches involuntarily, the words she must say willing themselves to remain unsaid. “Finn and Phasma are singing into a lampshade.” She sounds utterly dumb saying it aloud but it’s all she can muster.

“Phasma?”

“Right? Doesn’t that sound like the fifth state of matter?” 

Kylo snorts and stands, jutting his hand out for Rey to take. It feels like more than just an offer to help her stand. “Phasma singing. I _must_ see this.”

She takes his hand tentatively and stands. When she tries to let go, he just holds more tightly and begins pulling her out of the room, the way they came in. “Do you know her?”

“Yeah, she’s one of my closest friends. And she’s my size so you’ll need my help moving her,” he says confidently. 

She follows behind him closely, focusing on the feeling of his grasp in hers. It’s utterly intoxicating.

When they reach the main living room, they hear the crowd laughing and whispering as a giant of a platinum blonde dwarfs Finn, her arm wrapped around his neck, swaying them both side to side as they mutter gibberish, out of sync with each other. Rey barely recognizes the song, but even she knows that they are going about half as fast as the tempo calls for. 

Poe is off to the side with his fingers massaging his temples, his foot tapping impatiently.

Kylo chuckles lowly and does Rey the giant favor of letting her hand go so she can regain her thoughts. This is where the dream that was tonight gets weird.

“Phasma!”

“Kylo!”

“REY BABY!” Finn is picking her up in an instant, spinning her around, and because Rey is rarely touched, even she is surprised by how ticklish she is and the fit of giggles she is sent in.

“Finn!” she shrieks, throwing her head back in a howl of laughter and pushing against him. Poe is quick to start semi-mocking, semi-serious pulling her away from Finn. Leave it to Rey to provide the perfect means to distract Finn from his drunken lampshade rap career.

It doesn’t last long but as soon as they are done fooling around, they are all three in a fit of laughter, hugging each other. 

Every sweet butterfly that seemingly fluttered about in that wholesome moment of their friendship is immediately massacred at the sight of Kylo’s glare. His disdain.

The silence is heavy and spreads throughout the entire room, even the DJ smelling the atmosphere and turning off the music.

Phasma sobers up instantly and is by Kylo’s side in no time, with her head down.

His glare is deadly and aimed straight at Rey.

“Well… let’s get him home,” Rey squeaks before yanking her best friends towards the exit, unable to look at the man that captivates the entire room. “Thanks,” she mutters hastily without turning back to look at him. It doesn’t take much to taste the sourness of the room.

When they are at least fifty yards from the party, Poe and Rey are supporting most of Finn’s weight as he mutters nonsense about Phasma.

“Rey,” Poe says simply.

She knows that tone. She’s been caught.

“What in god’s name was that with Kylo?”

“Err… nothing. I think… I think he must be into that girl Finn was singing with?” She curses herself for sounding so unconvincing.

“Hmm.. you’re probably right. They are the toughest male and female alphas in school. They were bound to get with each other.”

And in that moment Rey’s skin blazed in a way like never before. He was _hers._

And she would make sure of that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you Cecilia1204 for helping me and betaing this. TWD for the win :)


	3. Collide

Rey’s glove makes contact with the punching bag, her right hook sending the bag flying and finishing off her last rep.

It’s 4:30 in the morning, and Rey feels all too awake despite overdoing it a little at the gym this morning. This is the one facility Rey frequently makes use of, arriving at 3 AM, after the night owls and before the early birds. 

She towels off before grabbing her bag and water bottle, guzzling it down as she makes her way to the showers. The gym showers are subpar but she prefers them over the dormitory’s since she can at least wash off privately.

After getting dressed and securing her hair into its usual three buns, she heads to the dining hall to drink tea and continue reading her latest novel. 

She chooses green tea this morning, still adding one creamer before settling down and opening to the last dog-eared page. 

“Lost in your book, Rey?” Poe’s voice yanks her back to earth. 

She blinks, suddenly aware of her surroundings. The dining hall is now filled with Alphas trying to wake up before their first class. She checks the clock on the far end of the room.

7:15 AM.

_How could two hours have already passed?_ she wonders. 

She was nearing the last chapter, and her tea sat cold in front of her, still untouched. She really had gotten lost in the story. 

_I mustn’t do that. I cannot let my guard down._

She snaps the book shut. “Guess so.” 

“Morning, Rey,” Finn says.

“Good morning.”

“Not eating?”

“I ate earlier,” she lies.

Finn raises an eyebrow but turns his attention to the pancake in front of him instead of arguing with her.

“So get this,” Poe says. “Phasma was at the gym last night. We went later than usual. Turns out Phasma does mixed martial arts too. And guess who she was with? Kylo Ren!” Rey cannot deny just how much that both intrigues her and annoys her, but she tries not to show it. 

Once she had cooled down some after the party, she came to her senses and realized the best course of action would be to avoid Kylo Ren altogether, and she had managed to do so for a few weeks now. Whatever this was, wasn’t good.

“Go on.”

“So Phasma comes over and chats up Finn here.” He gives Finn a hearty slap on the back. “And since she’s Kylo’s sparring partner, Kylo came over too!” It should comfort Rey that Phasma was taking an interest in Finn, but it just pisses her off more to hear that she’s both Kylo’s ‘partner’ and interfering in her friend’s life.

_Maker, what is happening to me?_

“And?” 

“Well he was kind of stand-offish,” Poe says with his brow furrowed. “And he did mention you.”

Finn seems surprised by this. “He did? What did he say?”

Rey’s heart starts pounding and she can feel her lungs begging for more air.

“He just asked if I was Rey’s friend. I was so nervous I just started babbling.”

_Oh no._ Poe word vomiting to Kylo was bad news, especially if it was about Rey.

“What did you tell him?” she asks as casually as possible.

“That we have one class with each other and that’s how we met. That we ran into you at the gym one night and realized we all loved MMA.” _Right, that’s when I had to start going to the gym in the middle of the night,_ Rey thinks. “That you’re a beast fighter and like to practice in the middle of the night. Alone.” Poe says the last word with a pout.

_Blast! Why can’t Poe just put a sock into his mouth and swallow it sometimes?_

Rey smirks, trying to keep her reaction light and uninterested. “And what did he say to that?”

“He just chuckled and walked away.”

\-------------------------

That night, lying in bed, Rey considers whether or not to go to the gym at all. Poe blew her cover by telling Kylo Ren about her middle of the night training sessions and she’ll be damned if she’s caught alone with him once more. 

She turns over with a huff. She should be more tired, especially since she barely slept the night before, but instead feels a buzz pulsing through her being, begging her to hit the gym and release it. 

Maybe she is worrying for no reason. What if he isn’t looking for her? She hates how much that possibility hurts to consider. 

It’s not like Kylo had been actively seeking her out since the party, probably still pissed off that Finn and Poe had their hands on her. _Good riddance,_ she thinks but doesn’t entirely believe and gets up to dress.

Tonight, she brings her quarterstaff to practice with, deciding to give the punching bag a break. Rey loves going through the forms with her staff, clearing her mind completely and getting a good stretch.

For good measure, she checks the surroundings of the gym’s entrance and when she declares it cleared, does the same for the interior. When she’s sure there is no one to bother her, she makes her way to the far side of the open gym, where she enjoys zoning out most. 

After warming up some, she really goes hard on her formations, swinging the staff with full force and bringing it to a controlled stop before swiftly striking through the air with other twists and swings that, after so much training, are ingrained in her muscle memory. She’s breathing heavily when she decides to take her first water break.

That’s when she realizes she’s not alone anymore. 

It’s _him._ He stands squarely in front of the exit, arms crossed and a huge smirk splayed across his face.

“Kylo.”

He nearly moans. “I love that accent of yours, especially when you’re using it to say my name.” 

Rey grits her teeth and turns away, then takes quick steps to her bag. “I’m done with my workout,” she mutters. 

He completely ignores that. Instead he kicks off his shoes, and pads lightly over to Rey. In an instant his t-shirt is off and on the floor, leaving him in black sweats that hang low on his waist. The muscles at the base of his toned stomach contort with each step and it takes everything in Rey to force her gaze back to his eyes. 

Her heart pounds against her chest and she can feel a clammy sweat gather on the back of her neck. It feels to her like the room suddenly go several degrees warmer. 

He smirks, clearly pleased with himself. “I must say I’m impressed. You look like you could hold your own. Another precaution, I assume.” He sounds both mocking and truthful, and Rey wonders which she can believe. “What’s more impressive is that you haven’t come to beg for my forgiveness for allowing the likes of Dameron and Tuwan to touch you. Tskk tskk.”

“They’re my friends,” she mutters in explanation. That stops him in his tracks.

“And _you_ are mine,” he says seriously.

The silence that hangs between them is electric. Everything in Rey suddenly does want to apologize and it’s absolutely inexplicable to her.

“Do you ever spar?” Kylo asks, continuing his agonizingly slow pace towards her. She wonders if he’s changing the subject for the sake of bringing her comfort...

She gulps drily. “With you? You’re _huge._ ” The words are out before she can stop them.

“You flatter me, little Omega.” Her breath hitches and she clamps her mouth shut, trying to regain control and beat back the heady feeling of being alone with him. He keeps getting closer and closer. “Let’s see what you can do.”

He widens his stance and bends his knees, putting his fists up in front of him. 

She closes her eyes and breathes in deeply, searching for that calm place at her center that allows her to focus. It’s difficult with Kylo there, his scent alone overwhelming her senses, but after a few moments she opens her eyes and feels in control again.

Rey sinks into a similar position but instead of fists, puts her left hand forward and her right back, closer to her chest, both flat and beckoning him to approach. 

This. This is a language she can speak. He has no influence here. 

Once he can tell she has no intention of attacking first, he jabs, faster than she anticipated a hulking figure like him was capable of. She’s faster though. Much faster, and out of the way in no time, calm and prepared. Agility and speed keep her at an advantage. 

She anticipates his next few punches, dodging when she can and blocking when she must. He sends a flurry of jabs her way and with each deflection, she gets a little closer until she is able to land a blow of her own to his chest. He takes a few steps back before changing tactics, instead going for a kick.

This was all too predictable, and Rey makes easy work of catching his leg with both hands and yanking, throwing him off balance. He quickly gives in to the motion and lands easily, grounding himself so she may no longer throw around either of their weight.

Rey backs away, standing up straight. “Why are you going easy on me?”

Kylo chuckles again. “Honestly, ninety percent of this school couldn’t defend against that second attack. I’ve learned all I needed with that alone. So.” He crosses his arms, scouring up and down her body with his eyes. “Another measure to hide your identity? What else?”

_So he was toying with me._ She bares her teeth at him, unable to help herself. It’s a sign of weakness, of submission poorly disguised behind intimidation. 

Rey refuses to talk about her grandfather’s recipe- that was rule number one according to Grandpa Ben. 

“Self defense, keeping fit, studying hard, keeping to myself, intimidating others...”

_“Intimidating others?”_ That amuses him to no end and before she can stop herself, she’s attacking him, sending a flurry of her own punches and kicks. Each is blocked easily but as soon as Rey realizes that it’s only because he is so much slower that he can’t dodge and only block, she captures his arm under hers, throwing her weight back and twisting her body to lock around his neck instead, jabbing her knee into the back of his so he bends.

Instead of falling, he gives into her movement again and kneels, in complete control to turn his long limbs and force her into a lock of her own- beneath him and utterly powerless. They both refuse to let go.

He leans in close to her ear, his breath hot and intoxicating on her neck. _“Give in.”_ His words are a hex and Rey does everything in her power to deny them. Still, she loosens her hold on him. 

Then he does the unspeakable. 

His tongue laps lazily across her scent gland, and they both moan. Rey _whimpers_ and it brings a groan to Kylo’s throat, his groin grinding against her by its own will. Her shirt is torn in seconds and neither can be sure who did it, both of them scratching at each other wantonly as he suckles her gland mercilessly.

Kylo pulls away just to admire her and it brings some sense back to the situation. To Rey herself.

“Please,” she whispers, her mind in a haze from his touch. “Stop.”

He grimaces and runs his fingers lightly across her right cheek, examining them right after. Rey hadn’t noticed before, but she was crying.

In moments she is in his arms again, cradled into his lap and being rocked. “I’m sorry, Omega.”

“Please,” she rasps. “People could be listening.”

“You’re right. I’m sorry, Rey. I lost control.”

“You crossed a line,” she hiccups. 

“I’m sorry, I just…” His eyes meet hers and it reminds her of the day they first met, how his gaze burned into hers, sending her skin ablaze. “I had to taste you Rey, even if it was just this once.” 

Rey shivers, reaching up and touching her scent gland lightly, the sensation of his hot tongue still fresh. She desperately wishes he would do it again. She can’t maintain control now, not after that. 

“Kylo, please. We can’t see each other,” she says desperately, her voice shaky and breathless. She’s starting to feel faint beneath all the heat, but now’s not the time if she’s to convince him to leave her alone.

“I know, I know.” He rakes his hand through his thick, long locks and huffs. “I want to protect your identity. Trust me, I’ve tried to stay away. But I couldn’t. Not tonight. Not when I knew you’d be alone here.” 

_He’s been protecting me?_ That shocks her. Up until now, she had assumed he was just an Alpha looking to claim an Omega. 

Rey swallows hard, willing the tears away. “I wish Poe hadn’t said anything. Yet, at the same time… I wanted to see you too,” she finishes, averting her eyes, instead choosing to nuzzle into his chest. She can feel her cheeks burning. 

“So why are you fighting so hard to deny me? To deny this? I know you feel it too,” he says quietly. 

“I want you,” she croaks against her own will. Or maybe it’s the Maker’s will. Whatever is going on between her and Kylo feels divine.

He shakes his head, his eyes closed. “I can’t tell you how much sleep I’ve lost over you.”

She pulls back suddenly to look him dead in the eye.“I can’t eat, sleep, or think because of you,” she snaps and then covers her mouth. “Sorry, I’m not sure where that came from. I’m not usually like this,” she explains, her body sagging into his wearily. 

He chuckles. “It’s okay, I’m used to it. Seems I bring out that side of you.” She smiles wryly at that. _Of course, it’s just another symptom,_ she realizes. “Does anyone else know?” His tone is now serious. 

“Not a soul,” she whispers. “It’s just been me for so long.” She refuses to get choked up again but can’t seem to help it when he’s there. He senses this and wraps his long arms around her.

“Well, it’s me and you now, Rey. I won’t reveal your secret to anyone. I want my Omega to be happy. And safe,” he adds gently, his fingers now massaging the back of her neck. Rey purrs, feeling all the stress seeping out of her, instead replaced by an overwhelming feeling of comfort. She’s not sure how, but she knows he is telling the truth. 

And for the first time since her Grandpa’s passing, Rey feels she has a chance to not be alone. 

“You’re on my side,” she sighs, letting her head lull to the side, giving way completely to his touch. 

“I’m on your side,” he repeats. 

“I’m not alone,” she murmurs lightly, mainly to herself. 

“You’re not alone. You’re mine,” he whispers before planting a chaste kiss on her scent gland. 

Completely blissed out, Rey just hums in agreement, giving in finally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you automatic_badgirl for betaing this chapter for me. It's such a huge help!
> 
> That being said, I am in search of someone or some people willing to beta and/or discuss this fic with me. I am often wishing there was someone I could run my ideas by so if you think that may be for you, please leave a comment saying so.
> 
> The next chapter is mostly written, I just need some advice. Thank you for your patience and hopefully if I find someone willing to listen to me talking about this fic constantly, I could pump these chapters out more often.
> 
> Yours truly,
> 
> Autonomee


	4. Softening the Blow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The beautiful LoveofEscapism betaed this for me and I can't thank her enough <3

Before parting ways that morning, and before the early gym crowd could arrive, Rey and Kylo decide to Skype from their respective rooms to discuss an arrangement that would suit both of them. 

It was Kylo’s suggestion that they do it through Skype instead of in person, figuring any proximity might keep them from making any rational decisions, especially in Rey’s case. That only makes Rey trust him even more, feeling pure relief that he was so understanding. 

Now that it seemed to her that he did indeed want to protect her, she decides it would be okay to see him from time to time so the both of them wouldn’t agonize over missing the other. She doesn’t know why, but she can no longer deny that he holds a power over her. And it thrills her to no end that she seems to have the same effect on him. 

There is no going back. She knows that at least. 

Still, they need to be careful and that required planning. It takes a lot of back and forth, but they finally reach an agreement. 

The ground rules are simple. No contact in public since that would only risk Rey’s exposure and neither of them want that. They would meet at least once a week at a private place and only at night. Electronic contact is free reign, as long as they use the Skype app for more discretion and delete their history as they go. 

The only other rule, and Rey insists upon this no matter how much Kylo tries to convince her otherwise, is her Grandpa’s first rule: no discussing her suppressants. 

In fact, Rey wishes the topic of suppressants would never come up, but it’s one of the first things Kylo mentions. He can apparently smell them on her as well as her Omega designation. It crosses her mind to reveal everything, the recipe and her plans for it, but out of respect to her Grandpa and all he had done for her, she refrains. 

“So, when do you want to meet?” Rey asks, tucking some of her hair behind her ear. It’s still damp from the shower she took earlier. 

She’s in an oversized tee and a pair of biker shorts, her knees pulled to her chest. It’s one of Rey’s favorite ways to sit but has always considered it very non-Alpha. She smiles to herself, reminded once again that she can be herself in front of him. 

Kylo’s hulking figure takes up most of her screen, the strands of his dark hair hanging down and grazing his bare shoulders. He’s in a black tank top and it only accentuates how fit he is. It’s been all too distracting for Rey, but she’s too embarrassed to admit that. 

“There’s a full moon and meteor shower Thursday evening. Let’s meet by the lake at midnight to watch it together.”

“Won’t there be a crowd trying to watch the meteors?” 

He grins mischievously. “Not where we’re going.”

“And where is that?” she inquires.

“That’s a surprise.”

“ _That’s_ not part of the deal.”

“You said once a week, night time, in private. It fits all the criteria, I promise.” The grin on his face is so bright, Rey doesn’t have the heart to tell him no. 

“Fine. Midnight at the lake.”

“You know the gazebo on the north side?” She nods once. “Go there and then follow the edge of the water eastward. You’ll find me after about a mile.” Her expression twists inquisitively but he just shakes his head. “I promise, it’s safe.”

She huffs and hugs her knees even tighter. “Fine,” she mutters. His grin is triumphant and she finds herself smiling too. 

————————-

When Rey finally spots Kylo on the shore, he’s bathed in moonlight. It brings a stark contrast between his black attire and pale skin, and Rey realizes that just as her golden features belong to the sun, his belong to the moon.

The sight of him is breathtaking, and she stops to admire him from afar. He’s sitting on the shore, completely at ease, leaning up against a rowboat, one arm supporting his head, gaze tilted and aimed at the moon.

He’s humming to himself, his deep baritone constructing something reminiscent of a lullaby, his free hand drumming lightly on his broad chest. 

Rey’s mouth goes dry. They had messaged back and forth constantly since the night at the gym, flirting and getting to know the basics about each other. She felt more and more at ease conversing with him, and all too eager to see him again. 

But this...

He’s almost _too_ perfect, and she starts to straighten out her outfit before remembering she chose to wear black active wear for the hike over. Cursing herself, she inches forward nervously. 

Kylo notices her then and casually stands then reaches a hand out. “Why are you all the way over there? Join me.” It’s as easy as that for Rey to relax and make her way over. 

When she reaches him, he takes her hand and helps her step into the boat. She takes a seat on one of the two benches, not sure what to say as he pushes the boat into the water and steps in himself. 

“The meteor shower should be visible within the next hour. Plenty of time to get to a good vantage point.” He paddles out with ease, his muscles rippling with each stroke. 

“Do you do this often?” Rey asks.

“Yeah, I’ve always been a fan of stargazing. You’re the brightest I’ve ever seen, though,” he jests with a wiggle of his eyebrows. 

Rey giggles, with a shake of her head. “I meant more the rowing.” 

“Ah, yes. It’s a great workout, and late at night I get to appreciate the night sky and how it reflects off the water. I love this campus for being so secluded. No cities. No light pollution. Nothing like Corellia.”

 _So he’s a big city boy,_ Rey notes. 

“You should see the stars in Jakku. This has nothing on the desert.” 

“I’d like to see that one day. Do you think you’ll go back to Jakku after graduation?” 

Rey scrunches her nose. “I hope not. There’s nothing left for me there.” She takes a long pause before saying, “I’m not sure where I’ll end up.”

“Well, you’ve got plenty of time to figure out what you want to do.” 

“Not really. I'm a fourth-year. I’ll be graduating with you this year.”

“I thought you said you were seventeen?” 

“I am.”

“But that means you’d have to have gotten to the academy at thirteen.”

“Right.” 

He looks completely dumbfounded. “But…” He barks out a laugh. “That’s unheard of. That means you are the youngest Alpha to come to the academy!” Even Rey can see the irony in that. 

“I just let everyone believe it was you,” she says coolly, some of their previous banter from messaging coming out. 

He chuckles, disbelieving. “And here I was thinking I was exceptional.”

“Well, I suppose you are still since I’m not truly an Alpha,” she admits. “Just don’t let it get to your head.”

He grins that madman grin where he exposes his crooked teeth, and Rey wonders if he realizes how endearing it is. “Too late! Seriously though, how do I not know about this?”

“Well, I considered waiting a while after presenting to go to the Academy. It’s all the same after all, just four years to graduate, and it definitely would have helped me blend in more. But then my Grandpa passed and there was nothing left for me there. Headmaster Holdo knew him personally and did me the favor of keeping my age a secret.” 

“Amilyn did? That’s shocking. She is all about bragging about our academics and alumni network. I bet she wanted to tell the world that world’s youngest Alpha attends this school.” 

“You know her well?”

“Her and my mom go way back,” he says simply and Rey gets the sense that family is a touchy subject. She takes note of that for later. 

Kylo puts the paddles down and they drift forward. “So does this mean you’ll be attending the conference next month?” he asks. 

“Yeah, I got a slot and thankfully the school is funding my travel and lodging expenses.” 

“Another favor from Amilyn?” 

“No.” A small, smug grin blooms on Rey’s face. “The top of the class gets to go all expenses paid.”

“You’re kidding? So __the one who beat out Hux? He was pissed,” he chuckles fondly at the memory of Hux’s red face when he saw their classes rankings. “Not that Hux needs the money. He was lucky to be adopted by the founder of First Order Enterprises.”

“Ah, so he’s an orphan too? I knew there was a reason we got along,” she sighs. Kylo’s eyes narrow dangerously. “Don’t tell me you’re jealous.”

“Of Hux? Like hell I am,” he snaps. 

“I am,” she admits quietly. “Things might have been easier if I had been adopted by someone rich. I’d have moved off campus long ago. Paid to protect my identity.” Rey stares off thoughtfully, trying not to frown. In moments like these, she always tells herself to be grateful to have gotten this far in life. Orphans from Jakku do not last long in this world, especially the Omegas.

“Hey,” Kylo says softly. “C’mere.” His arms are out in front of her and like a magnet, Rey is in his embrace instantly. His touch is like surfacing from underwater and sucking much needed air into your lungs. Like she can fully breathe, but only when she’s with him. “I’m sorry, that was immature of me.”

“S’okay,” she mumbles. “I didn’t mean to get sad, sorry.”

“Never apologize for that, Rey. I’m here for you no matter what.”

“Mmm,” she hums. “Will you sing for me?”

“Uhh sure. What do you wanna hear?”

“Whatever you were humming when I arrived. The lullaby.” 

Kylo chuckles, his chest vibrating and moving Rey with it. “You heard that?”

“Sing it for me,” she murmurs. 

He leans back, clutching her tightly, so they can both watch the stars. The first meteors come into view, sending a new kind of brilliant light into the world. 

Kylo hums into the night and Rey can’t remember things ever being this peaceful, even when Grandpa was alive. Serenity, that which seemed so unattainable for so long, is all around them. 

Long after he finishes the melody, Kylo breaks the silence. “That was my grandparents’ song. He wrote it for her.” 

“It’s such a sad tune,” Rey notes. _“Haunting.”_

“That’s what my mother says as well. I’ve always thought that that’s what love sounds like.”

“It’s funny, it’s like I’ve heard it before. Are your grandparents still together now?” She can feel him shake his head. 

“She passed giving birth to my mom and uncle.” 

“I’m sorry to hear that,” she says, meaning it. 

“My grandfather was never the same after, but I understand why. Especially now,” he adds seriously. 

“What do you mean?” 

“If I lost you, I’d lose my mind. I feel as if I already have sometimes,” he jokes. 

“I can’t explain it, Kylo, but I know what you mean. It’s like out of nowhere, you became my world. It doesn’t feel right until you’re with me, like I’m wired for you.”

Kylo chuckles lightly. “Well, yes, that’s the point Rey,” he states simply. 

“What is?”

He takes a long pause. “What do you know of soulmates or soul bonds?”

Rey doesn’t understand where he’s going with this. “Just this old legend my grandfather told me. He used to hold me just like this and tell it to me.”

“Oh? And how did that go?”

“There was once a young queen, a beautiful and wise Omega who governed the land. The people loved her for her sense of justice and her will to do what was right.” 

“Sounds like you like that character,” he comments. 

“Very much so. A powerful Omega. What’s not to like?”

Kylo tightens his embrace. “I couldn’t agree more,” he whispers in her ear. “Go on.”

“To protect millions of Omegas and Betas from poverty and enslavement, the Omega queen sacrificed her privacy and her ability to protect herself. Not for the first time, her life was threatened by corrupt leaders and two great Alpha warriors were hired to protect her. The younger of the two warriors fell in love with her strength and beauty and her mission to keep her people safe for he himself had lost his Omega mother to corruption and hierarchy. Even amongst Alphas, there was rampant inequality.”

“One second, how old were you when you first heard this, cause this is pretty dense for a fairy tale.”

“First off, it’s not a fairy tale, it’s a legend. And yes, my Grandpa always spoke to me like this. Stop interrupting!” She playfully elbows him. 

“Alright, alright, my apologies, _Omega queen,”_ he mocks and she turns to hit him again but he just holds her tightly in place. “Continue, my queen.”

She huffs but can’t help the giant grin on her face. 

“Together, they united to end corruption and greed and bring peace to the land for all people, regardless of designation. But war broke out and while those in power, the majority being Alphas, played at politics, people all over the land suffered. This brought a huge strain to the Omega queen and the Alpha warrior because despite being soul mates, they started to have differing opinions on _how_ to make the world right again. As things grew more dangerous, and the constant threat of death for the Omega queen only seemed to worsen, the Alpha warrior became paranoid and took matters into his own hands. Driven mad by the idea of losing his Omega queen, the Alpha warrior lost sight of their united mission and committed unspeakable acts, ultimately siding with the most corrupt of Alphas. She realized his bond with her had left him twisted and tried to bring him back to sanity, even going as far as getting their dear friend to help confront him.”

“Is that the other Alpha warrior? The older one?”

“Exactly,” she answers. 

“Oo, I bet the younger Alpha didn’t like that.”

“Not at all. The older Alpha warrior only wanted to help, knowing of the taboo nature of the younger two’s soul bond, having seen one like it once before, and so he and the Omega queen confronted the young Alpha together, attempting to bring him back to their side. This only sent the Alpha warrior into a rage. And thus, the Omega queen was pronounced dead to the public and both the Alpha warriors seemed to vanish all together.”

“Wait what? They don’t know what happened?”

Rey shakes her head. “Some people believe the two Alpha warriors killed each other and the Omega queen died of a broken heart. Some think that the young Alpha killed both of them in a jealous fury, then fled. Some think that the older Alpha slayed the younger in a duel and the Omega queen in her grief took her own life. The one thing people agree on is that the Omega queen was revealed to be pregnant after her demise. During the procession, she lay like an angel holding her belly of unborn babes.” 

“Maker, that’s fucking dark.”

Rey giggles nodding, somehow managing to sink even further into his touch. “It is, but there’s a good moral to the story.”

“And what's that?”

“Never give into fear and be wary of emotional attachments.” Her words hang heavy in the air between them. She wonders if what she said bothers him or hurt him in anyway.

“I’m so sorry, Rey. I’m sorry you’ve been at it alone for so long.” Her breath hitches. She didn’t expect him to see right through her, see how that story made her sad and lonely just as much as it kept her strong and firm in her isolated path. 

“I think…” She swallows hard. “I think he just wanted me to survive.”

“But you shouldn’t have to go it alone. Not while I exist.”

She lets out a long shaky breath. “Not while you exist,” she repeats. 

“Rey, I know it’s not my place, but the suppressants-“

“Kylo.” The warning is thick in her voice but he presses on. 

“Just listen. Haven’t you wondered why they don’t work when it comes to me?”

Rey turns around to face him, and he hooks his arm under each leg to pull her onto his lap in a straddling position. Rey instinctively wraps her arms around his neck, her hazel hues meeting his brown ones. “Of course, I have. It doesn’t make any sense to me. Grandpa didn’t prepare me for this. For you.”

“Well... soul bonds are estimated to be one in every ten million. He probably figured you were never going to find me,” he says quietly, eyes meeting hers carefully. 

Her brow furrows, her head tilting in thought. “Are you saying…oh. _Oh!_ ” Her hands fly up to her mouth, eyes wide and searching frantically over his form as if that would give her the answers she desperately needed in that moment. 

“Breathe, Rey.”

She gasps. “Right.” She’s trembling and utterly confused.

“Rey?”

That’s when she bursts out in a hysterical laugh, tears gathering in her eyes. As if the Maker hadn’t played enough practical jokes on her. Then _this._

“Rey, it’s okay, this doesn’t change anything, we’ll figure it out,” he hurries to say but stops when she puts her hands in front of her, waving them frantically. 

It takes a few moments for her laughter to subside enough for her to choke out a few words. 

“Unbelievable…what are…the fucking…chances…soulmates…me…belong to someone…ha!”

“Okay, not the reaction I was going for but this is okay. I think. I mean, are you okay? Usually I can tell but.” He gently rubs the small of her back, and waits patiently for her to compose herself. She doesn’t and instead breaks down, slumping over, her laughter turning into heavy sobs that rack through her body. 

Kylo embraces her tightly, feeling her hot tears in the crook of his neck. “Kylo,” she chokes out. 

“I know, sweetheart, I know. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. Just breathe deeply. Breathe,” he coos. 

“Am I going to have heats?” Her voice is barely a whisper. 

“Yes, I think so.”

“I’m scared, Kylo.” Her breathing is uneven and her voice crackling. 

“I know. I’m so sorry, it’s all my fault,” he murmurs, clearly strained. She has displeased her Alpha, she senses and it’s sobering. She sits back and blinks hard, trying to see him clearly through all the tears. His brown eyes, usually so full of confidence, are sad and unsure, and she can’t bear it. She rests her forehead against his and closes her eyes, letting out a deep sigh. 

“It’s not. We were meant to be together.” She’s sure of this at least. Everything else has stopped making sense, but this. This is all she knows right now. 

He places a gentle hand on her cheek and lightly brushes away her tears with his thumb. “Together,” he repeats. 

When she pulls back to look him in the eye, she is suddenly hyper aware of how close their faces are, their lips. He seems to be thinking the same thing as his eyes flicker down, his lips parting by their own accord. She hopes he can’t notice how heavily her chest is rising and falling with each breath or how her heart pounds. 

“You’re in control, Omega,” he whispers, his hot breath intoxicating. Rey’s breath hitches and before she can overthink it, she closes the gap between them, brushing her lips lightly against his, not sure what to expect from her first kiss. 

It’s certainly not this. This- this pulse or spark or wildfire that sears from his lips to hers, and she recoils an inch just to stare at him in bewilderment. 

_That. That was-_

They reach for each other simultaneously, going too fast and awkwardly brushing noses until he tilts his head and then it fits, their lips bruising together. Rey can feel his kiss in her entire being and fists his hair to pull him even closer. He appears to have the same goal because he grabs her hips, and all gentleness is gone, likely to leave bruises but she doesn’t care and neither does he. The contact is all that matters. 

It’s a flurry of sensations. His soft, plump lips. The fresh stubble on his face. His hot tongue swiping across her bottom lip.

It’s tentative, questioning and she answers by parting her lips further, giving him full access. 

Rey shudders from the intensity but it’s lost in the battle of tongues. She can feel him harden under her, and she instinctively grinds down on him while carding his long locks. Kylo’s moan is short and full of arousal, all consuming and encouraging. 

His nails dig deep, encouraging Rey to keep moving on his lap,and she’s all too willing to do so, maintaining an arduous pace, rocking back and forth. It feels _divine._

Neither of them had noticed the first few drops of rain until it starts to pour in earnest. Rey pulls back, their mouth making a wet pop. She looks up at the sky and back at him, bewildered by how quickly that had escalated, by how far she was willing to go in those few carnal moments. 

“I don’t think I’m ready,” she manages to say. They’re both practically panting. 

He nods frantically, seemingly composing himself. 

“But,” she continues, looking back up at the sky, appreciating it for helping her cool her head, and if she’s being honest, her body. “I don’t want this night to end.”

His eyes are totally blown, his hair disheveled, and Rey figures she can’t look much better. “Maker, Rey,” he breaths, still composing himself. “Yeah, understood, let’s get out of this rain first. I keep a cabin not too far from here.”

He works to untangle Rey from him and gently suggests that she ought to get off his lap. A weaker Alpha would have taken her then, but Kylo is different, or so he tells himself to have the will to separate from her after tasting her. It takes everything in him to grab the oars and begin rowing, but that’s exactly what he does, the flame between them still burning brightly despite the pouring rain.


End file.
